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“Confidence is a superpower, once you start believing in yourself the magic happens.”
Confidence can take a lifetime to build and be knocked down in a matter of seconds. The truth is, most of us aren’t confident in ourselves. The reasons for this vary on a huge scale and sometimes, sadly, some people don’t ever build the levels of confidence in themselves that they need to feel good. For me, no matter how confident I can feel on the inside, the way I look always seems to drag me down. We all have our ‘flaws’ and things we wish we could change about ourselves and some things we will never be able to change. These things take over our brains and often turn us into someone who we don’t want to be.
If you’re like me, you will change other things about yourself to make you feel better if you can’t change that thing, as much as you want to. I often feel uncomfortable about my acne, and I usually attempt to show my confidence via my hair colour. However, I do often worry about my hair and possible hair loss with the amount I dye it and the stress and depression in which I deal with. I had no idea until recently that depression can actually cause your hair to become dry and weaker, from low moods, a lack of energy and feeling drained which can eventually lead to hair loss! With my weight, my tattoos and bright coloured Dr Martens tend to give me that boost which I need. It’s crazy to think about what we see about ourselves that others don’t see. Even those who seem the most confident, still have their struggles.
Sometimes people don’t struggle with their exterior appearance and more to do with what is within. I know that I struggle with talking to new people and groups of people in the fear that I come across boring and people don’t actually want to know what I have to say. In some ways, this can actually be harder to overcome than the physical appearance side of confidence as it is you fighting against yourself. Although we can mask what we dislike on the outside, trying to lie to ourselves on the inside can often prove to be harder than it seems. Mind who is a mental health charity has some great tips about coming to terms with your low self-esteem and how you can get to the bottom of the issues to be able to allow yourself to continue to heal. Blast out those negative thoughts and fill the spaces with more positive ones.
To me, my confidence does build every single day, week or month of the year. I’ve started to learn how to celebrate my successes, think about the ‘good’ qualities which I have and why they’re good to have. I’ve also learnt how to stick up for myself more and become more assertive that includes everything from saying no to stuff I really don’t want to do to taking control of your thoughts and not letting someone else do this for you. I totally understand this is not as easy as it seems but there a huge variety of resources in which you can use to help build your confidence on a daily basis and hit back against those negative thoughts.
“Confidence is not they will like me, confidence is, I’ll be fine if they don’t”
Confidence is about celebrating the little things you do, rather than focusing on what you weren’t able to do. Making note of these victories for when your confidence is meter is a little low can be a great way to keep building rather than knocking it back down again. Spend time with those who make you feel great and who love you for you. My final piece of advice to those of you who feel this way is to reach out. Whether it is to a professional or a loved one, it’s worth taking these things over, as often they can give you a whole new perspective on things.